It's an oddity of memory that we readily call to mind what went wrong not right. It's easier to recall my mother's foibles than her generosity and warmth; easier to recall her politely snide criticisms of neighbors, friends, and relatives than her dedication to do both well and good; to recall her fatigues and complaints than her boisterous high spirits. But as John Updike pointed out, in a poem I've lost and can't reclaim, this quirk has advantage for us if we can let the strong memory bring forth the weaker and positive associations. I try to accept squirmy recollections as conduits to remembered smiles and shared laughter. Sitting in my hard pew just now I noticed newly-formed scabs from the small wounds the rose bush gave me as I cut off blossoms for a little breakfast bouquet this bright and cheerful morning.


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